A weblog of romance and madness

Month: December 2014

"First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me."

– Martin Niemöller, Pastor and social activist

random notes I took or thought I took

Unedited realtime notes I took after smoking weed. Because fuck it, that's why. Dates added now.
(PS: Every time you see a couple of dots .. added after a sentence or phrase, insert a few minutes there)

[22 Dec 2014, just past 10 PM]
I had a joint a minute ago. nothing so far im trying to record the effects :p still as sober as ever they said it will take a few mins to take effect.. i've heard stories of people floating.. i'm waiting to fly.. nothing yet.. sober 100% small pain in the stomach.. guess that has nothing to do wiith the smoke.. btw, i took 3 puffs.. nothing yet.. i'm even p i took two more puffs.. no particular effect yet.. it felt better than normal cigarette actually.. smell was nowhere near that bad.. smelled like some herb.. my right eye is feeling a twitch god, i hope i dont get kick and do anything stupid.. no other effect until now it has been like 10 mins now.. 5 puffs total.. well, my other hope is that i get stoned and writes something incredibily i can hear the friend that i bummed from starting to sing something in the other room it has been like half an hour, but no effect.. and on a cliche move, i just started playing godsmack serenity on my mobile.. i had been hearing that it is a weed song since long.. nope.. no effect so far i guess my body is very repellent with serenity is over for a few mins now.. i switched to joe purdy's wash away.. a much better song more than 30 mins and still no effect.. just stood up, walked around and went for a pee.. even my aim was sharp :p .. so i guess im not getting stoned this time the umpteenth song has played out and not even  a hint of anything.. it has been like 40-50 mins now i dont see any point pursuing writing this.. as i dont think im getting stoned (i can sense being a 0.01% dizzy, but thats all) im going to write a long overdue posts on chaos.rebugged.com closing no effect so far.. it's been like 1 and a quarter hrs now after 2 hrs, i took another 6 quick puffs and a long puff eye is a lil heavy now, but no other effect

[23 Dec 2014]
next day night.. 20:53 took quite a few puffs and waiting for it to kick in.. nothing yet.. hope i did a better job this time.. 21:19.. nothing yet 😐

[08 June 2015, past 9 PM]
Well, this one is not a realtime note. I'm updating this after a week. But I really get high this time. Not on the top of everest high, but kinda like on the top on an elephant high 🙂 I don't remember things too well now (which is the point, I believe), but from what I remember, I lied down and played songs, but even when I stopped playing songs, I could hear music in the background. I wonder if it was my roomies actually playing music in the other room or actually tetrahydrocannabinol playing tricks on my neurotransmitters. But an imporatant thing to note is that I couldn't tell the difference. Another effect was that, well I can't really explain it, everything I did felt mildly interesting – such as moving my arms or noding or smiling etc. I remember keeping smiling for long time, but it could've been just a few seconds too. No visual hallucinations as far as I can remember.

But, is it something I look forward to doing again? Nope; mildly interesting is the word.

I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce, and agriculture, in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain.

John Adams, Founding father of America

Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.

Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Good Will Hunting

Good WIll Hunting is one of my favorite movies and I happened to watch it again today. Here are my favorite two dialogues from it.

Will is a very intelligent kid and seems to know everything about everything, because he reads a lot. This is Sean’s dialogue to Will:

So if I asked you about art, you’d probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life’s work, political aspirations, him and the Pope, sexual orientation, the whole works, right? But I’ll bet you can’t tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You’ve never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seen that. If I ask you about women, you’d probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can’t tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You’re a tough kid. And I’d ask you about war, you’d probably throw Shakespeare at me, right: “Once more into the breach, dear friends.” But you’ve never been near one. You’ve never held your best friend’s head in your lap, and watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I’d ask you about love, you’d probably quote me a sonnet. But you’ve never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on Earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of Hell. And you wouldn’t know what it’s like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn’t know about sleeping sittin’ up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes that the terms “visiting hours” don’t apply to you. You don’t know about real loss, ’cause that only occurs when you’ve loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you’ve ever dared to love anybody that much.

I look at you. I don’t see an intelligent, confident man. I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you’re a genius, Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine. You ripped my fuckin’ life apart. You’re an orphan, right? Do you think I’d know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, ’cause I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally, I don’t give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can’t learn anything from you I can’t read in some fuckin’ book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I’m fascinated. I’m in. But you don’t wanna do that, do you, sport? You’re terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.

Sean to Will

Will to NSA guy who tried to recruit him:

Why shouldn’t I work for the N.S.A.? That’s a tough one, but I’ll take a shot. Say I’m workin’ at the N.S.A. and somebody puts a code on my desk, somethin’ no one else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it, maybe I break it. And I’m real happy with myself, ’cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. And once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels are hidin’. Fifteen hundred people that I never met, I never had no problem with, get killed. Now the politicians are sayin’, ‘Oh, send in the Marines to secure the area,’ ’cause they don’t give a shit. It won’t be their kid over there gettin’ shot. Just like it wasn’t them when their number got called ’cause they were out pullin’ a tour in the National Guard. It’ll be some kid from Southie over there takin’ shrapnel in the ass. He comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, ’cause he’ll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks.

Meanwhile he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so that we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the little skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them but it ain’t helpin’ my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. They’re takin’ their sweet time bringin’ the oil back, of course, maybe they even took the liberty of hirin’ an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and fuckin’ play slalom with the icebergs. It ain’t too long ’til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy’s out of work. He can’t afford to drive, so he’s walkin’ to the fuckin’ job interviews, which sucks because the shrapnel in his ass is givin’ him chronic hemorroids. And meanwhile he’s starvin’ ’cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they’re servin’ is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State.

So what did I think? I’m holdin’ out for somethin’ better. I figure, fuck it, while I’m at it, why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.

Will to NSA Recruiter

Well, if you haven’t watched the movie, you should; it’s beautiful.

I own nothing.

Not even myself. We are all borrowed sets of particles that have existed in the universe since always, to infinity.